This will likely surprise everyone I’ve ever met, but I spend a lot of time decorating for Halloween. I start months, sometimes years, in advance of the holiday, as I prefer an authentic approach to the scary season.
Outdoor decorating started this summer when I failed to weed the flower bed or water the mums, thus ensuring dead and overgrown foliage. Others pay for and then spend time and sweat constructing scenes that include fake spiderwebs, but not me. Nope, mine are real.
I’ve spent hours this year burning candles on my mantle — and not just because they fill my home with a heavenly hazelnut experience. Nope, I burn them in order to trap and mummify tiny little insect home intruders. Don’t blame me; I wasn’t the one stupid enough to take a swim in a lake of fiery wax.
Some creepy decorations have adorned my home for years. Take, for instance, the Buddha on the mantle. Buddha was purchased at a Bombay Outlet many years ago. When we got him home, his head fell off. I glued it back on. It’s fallen off a couple of times since then, too. I should probably invest in some stronger glue. Bombay Buddha is holding a sign that says “God Loves Me” that my daughter made at kid’s church. I love irony. Additionally, he holds Lucky the teddy bear’s amputated right arm, and someone recently stuck a plastic skeleton necklace in his paws. This is really a year-round decoration, because nothing says welcome like a random appendage.
Buddha isn’t the only thing privy to the skeleton treatment either, as both of my lovely children have chosen to place them on their bedroom doors.
There are a couple of pieces crafted recently on display, too. (And by “recently,” I mean a couple of weekends ago when I promised Ava that she could do crafts if she’d take a nap afterwards. Ava’s a liar. Don’t ever bargain with that kid.)
Someone left a couple of Popsicle sticks on the end table, a la The Blair Witch Project.
And Daphne, our shih tzu, has been walking around dressed up as a regular ole mutt for months!
Also, someone has been eating baked goods while the kids are away …
With all of the months of authentic preparation I do, I don’t want to mislead you. I have, in fact, outfitted our home with one plastic pumpkin. While trying to pull a box of photos from the top of my closet in late September, I somehow dislodged this fellow. Because I didn’t want him to fall on my head again, I re-homed him. He’s sitting on a ledge that, fittingly, needs dusted.
PHOMSITHI'S PLAYGROUND 