My kids have taught me some awesome stuff. If you’re lucky enough to be a mommy, then I know you understand when I say that our kids teach us to love deeply, to grow up quickly, and to see the world anew. And all that stuff is really, really great. Really.
But they teach us more than that. And, while not on the same tug-at-your-heart-strings level, some of the other stuff is pretty eye-opening, too.
Take, for instance, the time that my thirteen-year-old son stood up in math class and said, “Can I call my mom? I need new underwear before the football game.” Tyler taught me that there’s no shame in asking for new underwear. And, also, that silk boxer shorts aren’t the best choice for game day.
While we’re on the subject of underwear, mine recently went missing for a week. Like, all of it. It was later returned to my dresser drawer. While it was an uncomfortable few days of wearing old maternity panties, I did learn something from the case of the missing knickers: Family Dollar underwear conforms to no reasonable size guidelines. It’s like buying a variety pack.
We’re new to pet ownership, and I was recently privy to the knowledge that, if you don’t want to clean up dog puke, you can just wait until the dog eats it. Little known fact, right there, folks.
I learned how to play Alien Fart this week, thanks to my beautiful first-grader. Regarding the game rules, Ava said, “Well, you’re going to need a partner.” Apparently you fart on your neighbor and then cross your eyes.
When Tyler was two, I was introduced to the term “crossing t’s” in reference to two little boys sharing a bathroom. When he was three, I learned that the daycare owner didn’t care for organized playground pee-outs. When he was four, I was told that while the daycare welcomed kids bringing movies to the facility, that Freddie vs. Jason wasn’t on the approved list of films.
I learned a few years ago that there’s an up-side to carsickness and long road trips. It’s called Dramamine. It makes my babies feel better … and sleep from here to Dallas.
I’ve learned that freckles pop up on my precious babies’ faces over the years, not the moment they’re born. I’ve learned to call them angel kisses, because this makes them smile. I’ve learned that my oldest baby still likes tickled, even at 5’7″, and my youngest’s favorite place to be kissed is her hand. I’ve learned that fart jokes can be appreciated from ages 6 to 37, and that it’s never too early to have a great inside joke with your kids. I’ve learned that what’s important to them is what’s important.
PHOMSITHI'S PLAYGROUND 