Ten Reasons You Should Buy My House

10.  I don’t want to live here anymore.  (The Husband says this isn’t a selling point.  To that I say, I was an English major.)

9.  We’ll actually take a little less than our asking price.  (Shut up, Husband.)

8.  We have shutters.  Granted they’re unopened and in the living room, they’re shutters nonetheless.  And if you buy the house and they’re still uninstalled, I’ll spend an afternoon with the hot glue gun trying to get them to adhere to the exterior brick.  Either that or I’ll just give you the shutters and drill bit.  Your choice.

7.  Horses are our neighbors to the north and west.  We used to have cows to the east, and we’d shoot them with water guns while we cooked hamburgers on the deck.  Now we have Mennonites to the east, and my husband won’t let us play that game any more.

6.  I’m fairly sure you could put up a petting zoo sign and charge admission.

 

 

5.  The stainless steel appliances convey.

4.  So do Tyler’s bunk beds.

3.  And the chickens.

2.  There’s a pool, and Arkansas summers are hot.

1.  The number one reason you should buy my house is so that you’ll have a front row seat to the Chicken Love Story.  (Add that to Mennonite watching, and it’s like TLC right outside your door.)

It all started when a rooster named Dinner stepped out on his wife, Lunch, with the hen next door, Midnight Snack.  Lunch found out about it, took her Nuggets, and moved across the street.  Dinner and Midnight still get freaky in the front yard, sometimes within eyesight of Lunch and the Nuggets.  It’s a sordid tale of poultry tail.

 

Here are some actual home pictures.  (Taken at random times because I’m an awful housekeeper who barely manages to keep one room at a time presentable.)  If you want to take a look, we’re asking $142,500, and you can call my husband at 479-393-9029 to talk to him about it.  I think we’ve already established that I’m not the family salesperson.  Also, you have to give me a day’s notice so that I can do stuff like shove all of the dirty dishes in the oven.