Phomsithi Family Holiday Newsletter

I was in Staples about 8:30 this morning with my mom and sisters.  There’s no picture of this, because we looked like we had been out Grey Thursday/Black Friday shopping for hours.  We started at 7 a.m.  While there, I thought, I’m going to buy some Christmas cards this year.  And then I laughed, because, let’s face it, that’s kind of an adult thing to do.  I make it a habit not to do adult things (though this is largely unintentional).  I circled around to the printer ink, which is not discounted on Black Friday — or ever, in my experience — and saw some Christmas stationary.  Then I had another thought:  I’ll do a Christmas newsletter!  But then I remembered that nobody can afford printer ink, never mind stamps, plus I don’t really know anybody’s address, so that plan was out the window, too.  It was then that I remembered that I had this blog that I pay a grand total of fifteen dollars a year to keep, and I thought, I’m hungry.  But I also thought, I could just write out a holiday newsletter and post it on my blog.  I’ll just have to remember not to cuss.  So here we are.  An online “Happy &%$!@#$ Holidays” to you, dear reader, and an update of what the Phomsithis have been up to over the past year.

Let’s start with the man candy that is my husband.  Xay ate turkey legs this year.  I’m tempted to stop here, because anyone who knows him knows this takes up a large chunk of his time.  Any time we ever visit a fair or a theme park, his sniffer immediately goes into overtime as he drags a travel-weary family toward a turkey leg stand.  It’s an uncanny trait, really, but he seems to be passing it onto our spawn, who both seem to enjoy eating meat off a bone while standing in line for a roller coaster.

Xay also toted his food trailer, Sy’s Stir Fry and Egg Rolls, around to several festivals.  When it’s not at a festival, he keeps it parked on 4th Street in Russellville.  His dad runs the trailer daily, as I make Xay keep a real job.  I’m a fan of things like health insurance and electricity.  Fun fact about the food trailer:  He serves Asian food, but I really didn’t want him to.  I thought it’d be much more fun to fry assorted stuff in egg roll wrappers and that be the whole business.  The menu would include standard egg rolls, a refried bean and cheese egg roll, apple cinnamon egg rolls, macaroni and cheese egg rolls … you get the idea.  Okay, maybe that wasn’t such a fun fact.   Maybe it was just a tiny passive aggressive thought leaking out of my fingertips.  Also, he continues to snore loudly.  I’m putting that out there so that no one will want to steal him, because other than that, he’s perfect.  Well, that and the fact that he won’t let me list our house.

Let’s get to me.  I want to sell our house and have pretty much obsessed over this all year.  I’m tired of living on a dirt road.  I’m tired of finding stray goats and horses and poultry in my yard.  I want neighbors that aren’t furry or edible.  I want to walk to work and school … which is the same thing in my case.  The house is for sale by owner, if anyone is interested.  (Xay is hoping you’re not interested, because he’s kind of in love with his shop.)  I switched jobs this year at school; I’m the instructional technology facilitator for kindergarten through twelfth grades.  I love it.  I even loved it the other day when, after being crouched down beside a third grade for five leg-cramping minutes helping her solve a problem, I asked if she knew the answer, and she said, “No, but you’re sweaty.”  We have secret pals at school, and mine is the best.  We filled out survey at the beginning of the year, and one of the questions was, “What do you collect?”  I answered “dirty laundry,” so her first gift to me was dryer sheets.  That was when I knew I loved her, though I don’t know who she is.  It’s kind of like the plot to a Meg Ryan movie, only less whiny.

My kids are still awesome.  Tyler is fearless and outgoing like his dad, but emotional and needs some alone time like me.  And he has freckles, which are totally adorable, but he won’t let me kiss them anymore.  He’s taller than I am.  Taller than his Grandma Randy, too.  These are recent developments that I’m not entirely comfortable with yet.  I was just holding him on my hip yesterday, and today he’s shaving.  (Though he sometimes forgets to wear deodorant.  And he’s not a fan of weekend showering.)  Tyler stood up in math class this year and said, “Ms. Bettis, can I call my mom and tell her I need new underwear?”  This is why he is awesome.  Not because he needed new underwear because he’d worn silk boxers on game day, but because he’s so open.  I think out everything I say before I say it, and then I generally think of how to apologize for saying it, after which I dwell on how dumb my apology sounded.  I’m completely socially inept, but Tyler is always comfortable, whether in a crowd, a small group, or by himself.  And he loves me.  He loves his dad and his sister and his dogs.  He loves his friends and his teachers, and he’s absolutely the most stand-up dude you’ll ever meet.  He fights for the underdog and has the biggest heart.

Tyler loves animals, and we picked up two dogs this year.  We bought Daphne, who is not a shih tzu, from a lady who said is in a Walmart parking lot.  Because we’re dumb.  Daphne was a baby in this picture, but now she’s as big as our first grader.  Daphne and Tyler are great friends, and they both like to shed in my bed.  Our other dog, Cory, thinks she’s a cat, which means she’s my favorite hairy buddy.

Our other kid, Ava, likes both dogs equally, which is to say that she likes to wave ham in their faces and then shove it in her mouth hole and yell, “Bahahahahaha!”  Ava loves to read and write, like her mom, but in every other way she’s Xay’s little buddy.

Ava was “published” this year, though she doesn’t realize it.  Our conversation was featured on HaHas for HooHas.

She’s always this hilarious.  She was born understanding sarcasm, which is a real plus in our family.  Other developments in Ava’s life include losing two teeth, learning to do a back bend, round-off, and kick-over, and cleverly avoiding taking any Accelerated Reader tests for three weeks.  She loves to read, but says the tests are boring.  Her favorite books, actually, are boring.  She’s read Floods, Road Pavers, and Simple Machines, lately.  Girl loves her non-fiction.

It’s been a great year, really.  Any year I get to spend with the people I love is a great year.  I hope that each of you had some celebrations this year and that your holidays are festive and full of laughter.  As for me, I’d better log off.  I have an Elf on the Shelf to move.  (A very adult responsibility, if I do say so myself.)